I was leaving Applebee's tonight with some lovely ladies. And waiting outside was an obviously drunken group of wannabe (hispanic) gangstas - about 7 of em, who were more than eager to make rude comments and cat calls to my female companions. Now I am not one to run from a fight, but 7 is kind of a stretch. One, two or possibly even three would be a fair fight in my opinion, but not 7.

So as I walk back to my Jeep, I made the mistake of trying to reason with stupidity. I said, "Hey guys, c'mon...lets show some class." But that only incited the monkeys at this zoo into wildly jumping up and down and getting even more animated. I tried to say a few more comments of reason, but every word seemed to agitate these animals even more.

At this point all I could think was, "Why does this stuff happen to me?" But I figured whatever and proceeded to get in my Jeep. And no sooner than I could get it started, two of these aholes jumped on the back bumper, whooping and hollering, jumping up and down.

Chuck Norris. Now if there is a person on this planet that I wouldn't mess with, it would be good ole chucky. The second would be me. I am a crazy fool. And in my slightly inebriated stupor, while the chimps were bouncing recklessly on my bumper, I had a moment of clarity.

I calmly reached down and turned off the ESP. I revved the crap out of the motor, turned the wheel and dumped the clutch. HOLY COW...THE JEEP DRIFTED!!! I did 2 full figure 8's before I decided to get the heck out of dodge. I don't remember a whole lot - it was one big blur, but I do remember seeing those turds fall off the back bumper right onto the hood of their car, badly denting it. I remember everyone else jumping out of the way. And I remember watching all of them stand and yell at me as I drove off.

I haven't laughed that hard in a LONGGGGGG time. And i can't wait to get some of my friends in the Jeep and show them my new trick....

 

Well good job. I can say that if someone jumped on my jeeps bumper they probably would be looking at 6ft of dirt on top of them....



Cuss me all you want touch my woman or my jeep without permission and your as good as dead.

 

It's funny and all, but you were lucky this time. If one of them had fallen where you couldn't see them and you accidentally ran over one of them you'd be sitting in a jail cell facing all kinds of charges including dui. When it's 7 against one, it's probably best just to keep your mouth shut and get out of there. Anything other than that is only going to incite them. You're lucky they didn't start shooting at you.

 

GREAT JOB, Just be careful with the term Monkey in the same topic as gansta. Personally I could care less but some people might take that the wrong way. I know you don't mean it that way but people take things a lot further then need be. Just a heads up.

AGAIN GREAT JOB

 

thats why you carry a high capacity handgun... my sig caps out at 15+1... thats just over two rounds each!!

 

unless you hire a good lawyer... ... besides... if they approached his vehicle and start messing with it, he could simply say they were trying to break in and his lady friends say that they "feared for their lives"... i see it happen all the time.

besides... he would have just reduced the crime rate... now that is being proactive!

 

Me: "Judge..... there were seven of them and just me and my female friends. When two of them jumped on the rear bumper I thought they were trying to get in and I fear for my life and the safety of the girls!"

Judge: "Sir they were shot and ran over several times how do you explain that?"

Me: "Its a Jeep thing... you wouldn't understand."

 

 

absolutely perfect! the next sentence:

Judge: "Actually I have a JK too... thanks for reducing the crime rate... I will buy you a box of rounds since you were forced to waste you originals on trash."

 

Is that you, Howard Cosell? I thought you got over that Alvin Garrett comment!